Friday 18 May 2012

Phobias and Fears... by Savita Kalhan

I have lots of them. Heights, sheer vertical drops; wasps, bees, hornets, well almost anything that buzzes and gets anywhere near me; enclosed spaces like tunnels and caves; dark places – even a deserted street at night, which is more frightening because it is deserted, and then, bizarrely, becomes even more frightening when you see a lone figure walking towards you; cemeteries, at night; the woods, at night, but also in the daytime if they’re deserted. Yes, there is a general night/dark theme going on here, and a fear of bumping into someone when no one else is around. People do go for walks on their own all the time. But not me.
I have lots fears and phobias where those came from, and I haven’t even started on the nightmares. No, I don’t eat cheese just before going to bed, and I’m not completely insane.
We’ve all got irrational phobias and fears, and some rational ones too. I think I have a lot of them. Am I unusual? I don’t honestly know. I’ve asked family members about theirs, and I do seem to have far more than they do. They tell me it’s down to my overactive imagination. They tell me I’m far too superstitious, and suspicious, and that I always see the worst possible scenarios and imagine the worst possible outcomes.
Life would be so much easier, and far less scary, if my imagination wasn’t so overactive.
But I guess I need it to be that way. I’ve found a way of using it in my writing. Writing about them has not made the fears and phobias lessen in any way. They’re still very much present. I just wonder what would happen if I underwent hypnosis to sort out some of them. How would it affect me? How would it affect my writing? Would it become less dark? Would I find myself drawn to writing humorous light-hearted, heart- warming fiction? I did try my hand at writing that way, but it didn’t last long. It didn’t feel right.

The book I’m working on at the moment is getting very dark. You’re probably not surprised to hear that if you’ve read The Long Weekend. It’s not an intentional thing. It’s just the way the book is flowing. The story is set mainly in the woods and I found a local wood called Hell Wood, yes, that's its real name, and it's very apt. I haven't summoned up the courage to go there at dusk, and I'm not sure I'll be able to venture there at night. It'll give me nightmares! I was going to add a piece about my worst nightmare – one that has been recurring for years. But I won’t as it might give you nightmares.


Hell Wood




14 comments:

  1. Oooh, I want to go there! Sounds like just the place for you and your imagination, Savita.

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    1. Go on then. Dare you. In the middle of the night.

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  2. It definitely is, Jane. It's got a great feel to it - eerie, deserted and darker than my photo, which are the perfect ingredients. But I'm not sure how I'm going to drag myself there at night! Luckily, I can imagine it though...

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  3. I wouldn't even walk in Hell Wood in a crowd! So if you are unusual don't worry, you are in a group of two at least!

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  4. The photo of Hell Wood is very spooky - I share your fear of places like that but had put it down to being more comfortable in an urban environment. The thought of being there by myself... at dusk... no! Perhaps your imagination will be enough?

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  5. Miriam - glad to know I'm in good company! I went there with a friend, and have managed to talk myself out of going back there alone - even for research purposes!
    Amanda - it is spooky, but if you were walking there with a group of friends it wouldn't have that same feel then. I think the fear is to do with the isolation of the place - wherever that place may be. I'm definitely more comfortable in an urban environment, but put me in a dark deserted suburban street at night and I would feel pretty much as though I was in Hell Wood at night.

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  6. Hell Wood? Seriously? You are such a happy looking person despite this proclivity to literary grimness!

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  7. I hate that first photo of a wasp. I really hate them, as I have been stung a few times, and they do get dozy. And that is when they get dangerous. I have a phobia of dogs, which was made worse when I was a child and chased by one. I give them wide berths when I am out now. Even ones on leads.

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    1. Julie - I hate wasps too! I get stung at least once a year and the whole area swells up to the size of a tennis ball - year before last it was on my cheek! Last year I was stung on the inside of my thigh and had to wear baggy trousers for a week while the swelling went down. Nasty brutes.

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  8. LOL, Candy. Yes, seriously, Hell Wood - I didn't even have to make it up! And as for 'literary grimness' - don't be fooled by the happy smiling me...

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  9. Hell Wood - what a great name!

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  10. I know, Kate, and it was in exactly the right location for my WIP too. Sometimes you really don't have to make it up!

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  11. Very honest!
    I am not very good with big spiders - you can imagine what effect Tolkien's Shelob had on me!
    Thanks for the post.

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    1. Ooh, I lovedShelob but she gave me nightmares when I was younger - still does, but not the film version strangely!

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